Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Euro 2012 Group C Predictions: Boozers Blast on Through

One food post, deserves one booze post. Group C is for the boozers. Spain, Italy, Ireland and Croatia. Wine v. Wine. Guinness v. Rakia. Is there a better tiebreaker?

Guinness Girls Rule
First, Spain may be the reigning Euro and World Cup champions, but they can't compete with Italy's grapes. Italy has the grapes to get out of this group--and its wine is better. So's the food for that matter (good thing Mexico isn't in Europe or I'd have them winning the whole thing). And Ireland, bless you for your Guinness you bunch of Sullys and O'Briens! Rakia, meanwhile, sounds good, but I have some unpleasant childhood experiences with plums that I won't go into here--so that eliminates you Croatia. Sorry. Out.

The thing that stands out for me in this group is that Giovanni Trapattoni is Ireland's manager and I think this is some sneaky shit. I think the guy's a mole; he's a former Benfica coach after all. And he's Opus Dei; I read all those Dan Brown books, you can't sneak one past me. Guinness aside, I think Ireland's toast because of IlTrap.

So that leaves the champs and the chumps. Spain doesn't lose, at least not of late. And Italy, well they can't win of late. But they have enough to get out of this group, though it won't be easy. Guinness is pretty stout and so are the Irish.

  1. Spain
  2. Italy
  3. Ireland
  4. Croatia

Spain and Italy through to the quarterfinals.

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